Count down

It’s official. The date is set and we are booked for an over 2 week trip to Boston. When I leaned that Watson’s surgery date was scheduled for early February I could feel yet another wave of emotion come over me. This has been a roller coaster and it’s only just begun. How do you prepare yourself for an experience coming up like this? I’ve been reading up on the specifics of the surgery and looking at pictures of children around Watson’s age in the CICU. I’m making a list of all the things we need to pack up and take with us. I’m not sure how we’re going to transport all this gear. 3 suitcases full of clothes, a car seat, a jogging stroller, toys, dvd player, computer, books ect. I am going to be a spaz at the airport I’m afraid. There’s so much on my mind and so many things to plan. My anxiety level is rising now that the surgery is approaching. I know that the period when Watson goes into surgery is going to be the hardest time of my life. I wonder if I will be a sobbing mess or not. How will I handle myself during those hours? I read somewhere that giving blood was a good way to kill some time. Maybe I could go do that. I doubt I’ll be able to read. Maybe I could download some games on my phone to play to occupy sometime or buy some stupid celebrity gossip magazines to flip through. Either way I’m really going to have to distract myself so I don’t work myself into a panic attack. Maybe I need to be sedated like a dog afraid of fireworks. Uhhh. I’ll force myself to do some yoga breathing. I may have to escape to do this so people don’t think I’m a total wacko. Tic tock.