Acceptance

Five days have passed since I got “the news”. It’s been a roller coaster ride in my head but I think I’ve finally got things under control. I found that talking openly and honestly has really helped out. The more I learn about ASD the better I feel. Apparently it’s more common than you’d think. Thankfully we live in a time where modern medicine can really do wonders. This experience has made me love my little boy even more, which I didn’t think was possible. Thank you to everyone for the good thoughts and prayers!

 

Here is a video of my happy boy:

 

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Groundhog Day

It was Groundhog Day. My now D-Day. I sat in an exam room chair with Watson in my lap. He was getting restless after over 3 hours of fun at the MUSC Pediatric Cardiology Clinic. Dr. Baker finally entered and spoke the three words I feared most. “We found something”. As he explained to me that my little boy had a heart defect known as ASD, I imagined our lives becoming much more complex and wondering if I was strong enough to carry on. My hands began to shake as he explained that in order to correct things open heart surgery was required. I was numb. It was like a nightmare, but unfortunately it was my reality. I somehow held it together and was able to ask the questions that I could come up with. Before I knew it we were shaking hands and I was scheduling an appointment for a sedated EKG in 4 months. I walked out of the office to the elevator and pressed the down button. Suddenly it all hit me. I felt weak in the knees and my heart began to race. I was in a daze and realized the elevator door had been open for some time. Three ladies were waiting for me to snap out of it and walk in with my stroller parked right in front of the open door. I made it to the parking garage and felt like I was floating towards my car. Nothing felt normal. My stride felt different. My hands continued to shake. I felt completely discombobulated. The car ride home was full of sadness. I pictured my boy in the hospital with tubes and wires hooked up once again. So many questions came up. The first were the why’s. Why me? Why him? Then were the How’s. How will I cope? Hope will he cope? Then came the doubts. Can I handle all this? Am I strong enough? How do I keep it together? How?

Wecome to my World

Hello world!  I am starting this blog to share my life as an ordinary woman.  I also want to share with others my journey with our baby boy, Watson,  who has just been diagnosed with Atrial Septal Defect(ASD) .