A chance encounter

I’d been doing a lot of research on open heart surgeries and different hospitals. I had found many blogs out there with similar stories to ours, but wasn’t feeling very confident on exactly what to do with the news about Watson. It was interesting how a chance encounter my mother in law, Joan, would have with a woman would really impact the direction we are now heading in. One Saturday afternoon my mother in law was helping a woman pick out a necklace for her son at the jewelry store she works at. The woman, Julie, explained that her son deserved something special and that he had just had open heart surgery. Joan explained that her grandson was going to need open heart surgery. The woman went on and on about how excellent Boston Children’s Hospital was and that their surgeon Dr. Pedro Del Nido was the best. She suggested that we speak and gave Joan her email address for me. I began to research Boston Children’s Hospital and Dr. Pedro Del Nido and what I found gave me comfort for the first time. The hospital is ranked as number one for Pediatric Cardiology and this doctor is pretty much a pioneer in open heart surgery and cardiac catheterization. It seems like he is the very best in the field. I want the very best for Watson. It seems like the answer was placed in my hand. I emailed Julie and eagerly waited to speak with her over the phone.

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Sedated EKG

After waiting for months we finally got the news that Watson’s ASD had mostly remained the same. He had a sedated EKG in June which I was terrified for. Once the day of his appointment finally arrived, he seemed in good spirits. He was even ok without having his morning bottle. Upon our check in at the hospital he was all smiles. We were going strong until a nurse tried to get his blood pressure. For some reason that set him off and he started screaming and crying. Never mind his blood pressure, I was through the roof. Other nurses gathered around to help. Unfortunately he wasn’t having any of that. They eventually gave up. The sedation went better than I expected. The nurses just filled up a syringe with liquid from what look like a juice cup and squirted it down Watson’s mouth. He handled that really well and was off to sleep in about 5 or 10 minutes. Greg and I sat in the room playing chess silently on our laptop while the EKG  was preformed. As soon as they were done Watson woke up in a flash. His balance was off and he was unable to hold up his head properly. Then we were on to yet another room for the Dr’s report. Unfortunately the hole in Watson’s heart has not disappeared. They were able to get a better view of it. The Dr. said it was slightly larger than he originally thought, about 1.4 cm in size. He suggested a follow up appointment in 6 months and recommended surgery around 3 years old. And just like that reality set in again. My little boy was going to need surgery.

Healing through Inner Focus?

Throughout the past few months I’ve been focusing my free thoughts on my little Watson. I’ve be doing a lot of praying, visualizations, and positive affirmations. I’d like to think that through positive energy and prayer,  healing can occur. When I first learned about Watson’s ASD, I felt so helpless. Since I could not physically do anything to repair Watson’s heart I could at least send positive energy towards his growth and development. I’ve visualized his ASD closing. I’ve visualized him strengthening. Countless prayers have been aimed in his direction by myself and many family members. Today he seems so wonderful and happy. It’s hard to believe that anything is even wrong with him. He’s on the move now crawling everywhere and so curious about the things around him. He seems so smart to me too. He’s able to clap his hands, point his finger, and wave goodbye. He’s eating very well now and seems constantly hungry. He smiles all the time and his laugh just melts my heart. I see these things as good signs. I see these things as progress.

Acceptance

Five days have passed since I got “the news”. It’s been a roller coaster ride in my head but I think I’ve finally got things under control. I found that talking openly and honestly has really helped out. The more I learn about ASD the better I feel. Apparently it’s more common than you’d think. Thankfully we live in a time where modern medicine can really do wonders. This experience has made me love my little boy even more, which I didn’t think was possible. Thank you to everyone for the good thoughts and prayers!

 

Here is a video of my happy boy:

 

Groundhog Day

It was Groundhog Day. My now D-Day. I sat in an exam room chair with Watson in my lap. He was getting restless after over 3 hours of fun at the MUSC Pediatric Cardiology Clinic. Dr. Baker finally entered and spoke the three words I feared most. “We found something”. As he explained to me that my little boy had a heart defect known as ASD, I imagined our lives becoming much more complex and wondering if I was strong enough to carry on. My hands began to shake as he explained that in order to correct things open heart surgery was required. I was numb. It was like a nightmare, but unfortunately it was my reality. I somehow held it together and was able to ask the questions that I could come up with. Before I knew it we were shaking hands and I was scheduling an appointment for a sedated EKG in 4 months. I walked out of the office to the elevator and pressed the down button. Suddenly it all hit me. I felt weak in the knees and my heart began to race. I was in a daze and realized the elevator door had been open for some time. Three ladies were waiting for me to snap out of it and walk in with my stroller parked right in front of the open door. I made it to the parking garage and felt like I was floating towards my car. Nothing felt normal. My stride felt different. My hands continued to shake. I felt completely discombobulated. The car ride home was full of sadness. I pictured my boy in the hospital with tubes and wires hooked up once again. So many questions came up. The first were the why’s. Why me? Why him? Then were the How’s. How will I cope? Hope will he cope? Then came the doubts. Can I handle all this? Am I strong enough? How do I keep it together? How?

Wecome to my World

Hello world!  I am starting this blog to share my life as an ordinary woman.  I also want to share with others my journey with our baby boy, Watson,  who has just been diagnosed with Atrial Septal Defect(ASD) .

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